Monday, December 16, 2013


As magazines like the Ensign have in storage 50,000 Family Home Evening ideas and Cosmopolitan has in storage 50,000 tips to make your man go wild in bed, the Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer has a storage of 50,000 Christmas gift ideas. We are more frugal with our tips, so here is this year’s one idea: the Aaronic Priesthood Wrist Coach. As you may have noticed, football quarterbacks have a special wristband with the team’s plays on it. The Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer shows you how to make the best Christmas gift that special Aaronic Priesthood holder in your life will ever get.  

You’re welcome, Zion.

Step 1: Go to a large store.  (The Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer does not get any special funding from large stores that use predatory practices to destroy small businesses and local culture, so the sign here has been blurred.  But if a large store that uses predatory practices to destroy small businesses and local culture would like to sponsor or support Zion’s Finest News Source, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact us!)

Step 2: Purchase a Football Wrist Coach, and item that can be found in the sporting goods section.

Step 3: Make up a card with the Sacrament prayers on it to the size of the insert.  (Bonus points if you can make it from memory without having to look up the prayers.)

Step 4: Insert the card into the wristband.

Now your Aaronic Priesthood holder is ready, with his Aaronic Priesthood Wrist Coach, to bless the sacrament.

Bonus: Other important Aaronic (and Melchizedek!) Priesthood messages can also be conveyed with the Wrist Coach.

Happy Holidays from everyone at the Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer!

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