WOLVES IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING: CAFETERIA MORMONS

Commentary by Dale Jennings

When our church leaders speak the Lord’s words, they expect us to listen and obey. We know that it is only by exact obedience that we can be sure that Satan won’t slowly turn up the temperature on our pot until we are spiritually boiled to death. Strict faith and obedience to each and every word from God is why the real danger that the church faces today isn’t from ISIS or Obama or even Caitlyn Jenner. No, what threatens to destroy God’s work today are cafeteria Mormons.

Cafeteria Mormons have the false, satanic idea that they can pick and choose what words of God they want to listen to and obey. They love one apostle (usually Uchtdorf!) and resist God’s word as given by others (like Packer!). They love some scriptures, like King Benjamin’s speech or Christ letting the prostitute off the hook, but disregard others, like how it was obedience and not grace that saved Noah or how God commanded Abraham and Nephi to kill when God found it necessary.

What cafeteria Mormons fail to realize is that each and every word of scripture, of revelation, and in the manuals and handbooks go together perfectly, completely, and harmoniously. It is either all true or it is all false—that is just how it is. If this offends your ideas and if you want to reject the Biblical truth of how Jacob used rods to produce more striped, speckled, and spotted lambs for himself (Genesis 30) or if you want to reject how God used a sea monster to punish Jonah, then you can kick against the pricks and jeopardize your soul.

When cafeteria Mormons are truly wolves in sheep’s clothing is when they start to infect others with their diseased doubts. They show an appalling lack of humility when they question a church policy or when they wonder aloud if social or cultural ideas influence God’s revelations to His chosen vessels. Sometimes they claim “personal revelation,” but we all know that no personal revelation that is really from God would ever be even slightly different from what God tells His leaders. The Comforter confirms—that is all! Case closed.

Of course some of these deceived and too often deceiving “Mormons” assemble in apostate groups and conferences or exchange ideas in that cesspool of falsehood that is the “Bloggernacle,” but they are sometimes even seen in our stakes, wards, or homes. Every effort should be made to avoid them, and thereby quarantine their infectious ideas. It may seem unkind or cruel, but we know that God has commanded his righteous in ancient times to kill every apostate man, woman, and child, and it is better that we insulate ourselves from them and their wickedness to avoid dealing with doubts or questions about God’s words. Avoiding, shunning, and shaming those who fail to successfully doubt all of their doubts is clearly God’s loving way of keeping His innocent and trusting sheep safe. 

QUESTION NOT TO ASK AS PART OF THE FACE TO FACE WITH ELDER RASBAND, SISTER OSCARSON, AND BROTHER OWEN

On January 20, 2016, youth can participate in a worldwide activity featuring a discussion with Elder Rasband, Sister Oscarson, and Brother Owen. 

OREGON STANDOFF HEADLINES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED

RECENTLY RETURNED MISSIONARY REVIEWS STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

Should be Called Star Wars: Stop Trying To Hold My Hand!

Sister Kaitlyn Burke has recently returned from serving for 18 months in the South Dakota, West mission. She writes Zion’s best movie reviews for Zion’s Finest News Source.

I told my family that if they agreed to do another hour of role-plays from Preach My Gospel then I would go see Star Wars: The Force Awakens with them. In case any of you are thinking about seeing it, here’s my review.

The movie’s overall message did not offend my spirit. In fact, for those who are attuned, they can see that this is what God wants you to get from the movie: if you are a scavenger, living off of the discarded scraps of others and never getting the real value for your work, or if you find yourself fighting on the wrong side of the battle between good and evil, then now is the time to abandon your current life, follow the Force/Holy Ghost, and enter the mission field. Let’s face it—if you don’t leave now, the Lord might destroy that whole place!

The movie also provides a clear warning to parents about not letting their children get off on the wrong path like Han and Leia’s son. What could have led him to such evil? Well, not only did he not go on a mission, but he learned evil instead of good. Take that as you will, but it probably means that he went to some overly permissive, sinful college like the University of Utah, Utah State, or BYU in Provo. Parents—if you are not going to protect children by sending them to a place where their agency will be used to always confidently and easily only choose the right, like BYU-I, then if they toast your insides with a lightsaber then that’s pretty much your fault.

As you can guess, I’ve been saving the most important, the crucial moment of the movie, for last. And you all know what I’m talking about, so I will just say that if she doesn’t want to hold his hand she shouldn’t have to. I mean they just met and she hardly knows him. Who knows where that hand has been? Even if he’s cute or fun, or even if her parents might really, really like him, if she doesn’t want to hold his hand then she should just be able to say “I don’t want to hold your hand” and everyone should be okay with that. They shouldn’t say that it is okay for you to hold hands with him if she doesn’t feel comfortable with that yet and everybody should just slow down and not pressure her so much to just go and hold hands with anybody who happens to be running around with her, even if everyone thinks that is it no big deal, so just cool it people!

I’d say that the movie was okay, but given the choice of seeing it and being back in Hot Springs or Oglala really fighting the First Order that is sin, fear, and ignorance, give me the mission field any day!