Thursday, February 23, 2012


By Stephen Carter

Citing a sudden shift in viewer interests, KBYU has cancelled what would have been its first reality series, Baptizing for the Stars.

"We've heard from very . . . important sources that our viewers are most emphatically NOT interested in doing posthumous baptisms for celebrity personages," said Fillmore Leonard, director of programming. "Rather, they would prefer to watch reruns of 1970's General Conference sessions."

Baptizing for the Stars was to feature photogenic genealogists as they competed to find deceased celebrities whose temple work had not yet been completed. The first season was slated to focus on great authors, the second on heroes of the American West, and the third on the founders of multilevel marketing companies.

One crew member, who asked to remain anonymous, expressed surprise at the sudden cancellation, recounting how she had borne tearful testimony in Relief Society about her experiences during a recent shoot in Santo Domingo. According to internal documents, the episode being taped was about a "young female diarist."

One source affirms that KBYU has had to dispose of thousands of hours of footage featuring high-tension searches through the Family History Library, action-packed microfilm scanning, and tearful reunions between fourth cousins three times removed.

On the bright side, the cancellation may make room for another reality series, Waiting for Elder Right, which, as the tagline promises, "always ends with a wedding."

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