Saturday, February 25, 2012

CHURCH INTRODUCES NEW "WIN THE FIGHT" RING FOR TEENS

By Christopher Bigelow

For at least two generations now, the LDS Church's Primary children have proudly worn the CTR ring, proclaiming to the world their commitment to "Choose the Right." Many teens and adults also wear this iconic symbol, which has become as important to Mormons as WWJD jewelry and other items are to mainstream Christians.
Recognizing that teens in particular need their own powerful cultural symbols as they form their identities, the Young Men and Young Women general leaders have created a new WTF ring.
"'Win the Fight' is the new rallying cry for today's Mormon teens," said Sister Janiece P. Pratt, Young Women general president. "Imagine a youth adviser teaching her girls about the moral dangers of skinny jeans. The girls might be tempted to roll their eyes. But now, the adviser can say, 'Come on, girls, WIN THE FIGHT!' And the girls can hold up their rings together and chant in unison, 'WTF!'"
Church distribution centers are now setting up displays of WTF rings and other merchandise. "If this catches on with grownups too—hey, all the better," said Sister Pratt. "As these latter days get progressively more corrupt and confusing, WTF serves as an inspiring reminder to set one's priorities straight and keep fighting the good fight."
At press time, Mitt Romney's campaign was preparing to launch a new slogan: "Mitt Romney: Win the Fight," with Romney-themed WTF buttons and banners now being produced.

11 comments:

  1. Choose the right, win the fight, is the same thing.WIN, WIN, WIN.

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  2. they REALLY chose the wrong ACRONYM..lol

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  3. This is entirely not true. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has not made this ring nor are they selling it!

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  4. Atheist here, where can I get one of these... just for shits and giggles. Seriously though, could they possible choose a worse acronym? >.>

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  5. We hope everyone enjoys this "news" article, but Taylor is spot on--this is satire. If you were hopeful or worried that the Mormon church had developed such a ring, sorry and/or don't worry. In fact, please look at all of the news article's posted by the Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer, Zion's finest news source. Oh, and tell your friends.

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  6. OMG, former Mormon here, I hope to FSM that I can actually buy one of these somewhere! Is anyone actually making them?

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