Thursday, July 12, 2012


By Barley B. Bratt

Stoic saint stands sturdily before Shopko.
SPRINGVILLE, UT—Neville O. Maxwell, grandson of the late apostle Neal A. Maxwell, recently expressed to his bishop that there are times “when the white and wooly waves of worry whip me on my weary way.”   Seeking comfort and guidance, Maxwell conceded that the “mortal clock rarely ticks with that of the Messiah’s miraculous, millennial machinery.”  

A previous bishop had suggested Maxwell take evening walks to ponder the challenges of teaching his Valiant 9 class and working 35 hours a week at Shopko.  Reporting positively on this counsel, Maxwell expressed how “So often enlightenment has come with the day’s gradual darkening, bringing with it a provident and prudent pondering of how better to shepherd my fresh and feisty young flock of primary fledglings while also storing and restoring that which has become separated from its Shopko shelf sanctuary.”  

Pressing further, Bishop Peters asked if Maxwell did not perhaps feel that he should have a job more in keeping with his skills and interests, and perhaps a calling that would allow him to develop more of his talents.  To this Neville responded, “Oft, in lonely rooms, and mid the din of towns and cities, the material gravity of fallen flesh has fueled a fiery and flying envy toward (elders quorum president) Steve Allen, my childhood yet often churlish onetime chum.”  

Neville, who recently turned 24, also told the bishop of his concerns about not being married. “I believe that it was Milton,” Neville said, “who put it so eloquently: ‘Some, happily married, seated, need not wait / But they also serve who only stand and date’.”

1 comment:

  1. Awesome!! I hope people are reading these! I love you Barley Bratt!