“Sure, it doesn’t roll off of the tongue like Braves,
Chiefs, or Indians,” acknowledged Snyder, “but over time it will seem just as natural
as a Utah team called the Jazz or a Los Angeles team called the Lakers.”
When asked about the cultural implications of such a name,
Snyder said that “not only does this name acknowledge a fine Mormon heritage of
raising up seed but I also like the intimidation
factor.” On this point Snyder
elaborated, “I mean for over a hundred and fifty years Americans have been freaked out by
this practice, so this will make them quake in their boots when my glaringly
fundamentalist football monsters show up to battle the merely monogamous 49ers, Patriots, or Cowboys.”
Snyder did have one major concern that seems to still be
holding him back. “I know what some people might say about this team, and
especially its name, and I am not insensitive to those implications,” said
Snyder. “I, like everyone else who knows about Mormon history, can see how
Seattle might change their name, and everyone knows that the Utah Multiple Wife
Impregnators would never want to defeat and destroy the Seattle Seagulls.”
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