President Green came up with the idea, and quorum secretary,
Jeremy Lynch, who has some computer programming skills, set up the electronic league. “Yah, we can make roster
changes and everything, thanks to Lynch,” reported second counselor Daniel
Utley. “Last month,” continued Utley, “I
benched (home teaching companions) Rust and York, and that turned out to be
brilliant. They didn’t do a thing!”
The league has had several modifications since its
inception. “What we do now,” explained
first counselor Greg Sherwood, “is that you have to do the home teaching
interviews for your team, that way you know who home taught and who didn’t. And of course, you make sure to do those
interviews and to let them know that there is a warm place in hell for someone
who just makes a call or tries to count posting something on Facebook as a
visit.”
Another early change was the Presidency Multiplier or “PM.” “(President David) Green came up with the PM,
which means that if a member of the presidency visits all of his families, he
gets one point, but if he doesn’t, he gets zero points. His team points are multiplied
by that total, so he gets no points if he doesn’t do his visits,” explained
Brother Utley. Utley added, “so, yah, I’m
usually done by the 10th, at the latest.”
“We have tried all sorts of strategies,” remarked
Lynch. “I drafted a newly returned
missionary and put him with a guy on my bench, but that only paid off for three
months, and then he went back to the Czech Republic to marry some girl he had
baptized.” When asked about his
companion, Lynch lamented that “he went right back to the bench,” adding, that “he
is sort of the Mark Sanchez of home teachers.”
When asked why the presidency was willing to go on the
record about their secret league, they laughingly remarked that “nobody reads blogs” and that “the only way it could reach fewer people is if it were
published in an academic journal or part of the privacy statement for the
church’s scripture app.”
Bro. Tucker, you are awesome, this article speaks to the heart....
ReplyDeleteThe "Mark Sanchez of home teachers"--classic! Great piece.
ReplyDelete