Friday, April 6, 2012

Snapshot: What are the LDS employment specialists telling us to do?

• Take heart in the knowledge that, like you, Jesus was also a slacker . . . er, unemployed.

• Catch up on Breaking Bad—might give you some ideas.

• Start yet another porn addiction recovery program for Mormons.

• Get that degree in feminist theology you've always wanted.
• Take up a time-honored Mormon profession like accounting, software development, or Ponzi schemes.

• Have another baby.
• Start computer program in garage; invent paradigm-changing operating system; make billions.

• Run for president.

• Hang out at preschool playgrounds, day after day, until someone there hires you (can also try after-school cheer leading practice sessions).

• Blog

• Repent of the grievous sins you must have committed to have so obviously not prospered in the land.

• Go ahead and invest that money in Nigeria; those emails are really your only chance at this point

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