BOSTON, MA—Sources close to Republican
presidential candidate Mitt Romney confirmed that four of Romney’s staffers
resigned effective Monday, July 17th. All four staffers happen to be members of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and apparently all had worshiped
together on Sunday July 16. Early indications are that elements of the previous
day’s Sunday School lesson dealing with chapters 23 through 29 of the book of
Alma in the Book of Mormon led to their resignations.
One staffer was Margaret Peat (24) originally
from Oxnard, California. Peat reportedly told other Romney volunteers that she
could not ignore Romney’s connections with the National Rifle Association.
“When Lamanites converted to the Lord,” Peat
explained, “they buried their weapons. They didn’t stockpile them or
irrationally defend the right to carry the most lethal killing machines ever
invented.”
A second staffer, David Berg (23) from
Arlington, Virginia wrote a lengthy resignation note to Romney pointing out the
discrepancy between his immigration policy and the Nephite approach to the
influx of Anti-Nephi-Lehis. Part of Berg’s letter read, “I don’t want a
commander-in-chief who builds walls and scares the vulnerable when the Nephite
chief judge not only welcomed immigrants but vowed to protect them.”
Barlow’s close friend Nathan Yates (26) from
Falls Church, Virginia reportedly vacillated on those immigration policy
conflicts. When Yates had argued that maybe the Nephites “just let them come to
pick fruit,” Berg pointed out that the Anti-Nephi-Lehis, unlike undocumented
immigrants in the United States, were specifically not treated as slaves.
The fourth staffer, Vince Payton (23) from
Hollywood, Florida left after Romney rejected his proposal to rename the
Republican party the Anti-Lincoln-Washingtons.
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