MY FAITH CRISIS: THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

Jon McNaughton:
The Official Painter of God and His Political Party

By Clint Reston

Please don’t get the wrong idea from the title—I still have a strong testimony that God works through His earthly, political party, the Republican party, but I have to admit that after some things I have seen on the Internet, I have experienced a painful and confusing faith crisis. I hope that, by talking about my trial, I can help those who might face a similar dilemma.

I was raised in the Republican party, and even as a youth I rejoiced when the Lord put righteous and wise Bush after Bush as President to stay that dreadful day when the constitution will hang by a thread.

God’s blessed Bushes did His work of righteously defending this chosen land by sending our armies far, far away to fight in places like Kuwait, Afghanistan, and Iraq. Where Captain Moroni built defenses, modern day representatives of God have taken a more pro-active approach, often with the aid of God’s instruments of peace, tomahawk missiles. How blessed we have been with leaders successfully dealing with natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina, establishing ethical and just correctional facilities in Iraq and elsewhere, and preventing economic crisis until the moment that God needed an economic crisis to punish the greedy and wicked!

Republicans alone have correct priorities: big government when it comes to the military, social security, or helping big corporations in need, and small government when it comes to worthless or destructive things like food stamps, veterans benefits, mental health assistance, universal healthcare, and other parasitic, satanic, socialist programs.

Much of that righteous goodness, of course, came to an end with President Obama. While God may have allowed gas prices to go down, improved overall employment and economic conditions, allowed more Americans to have healthcare than ever, and set up better relationships between the US and countries like Iran and Cuba, those are just examples of how God allows the wicked to seem to succeed for a season until they are inevitably punished for their abominations.

Worst of all, now gay marriage has been forced upon us, and the destruction and calamities that prophets have foretold are just about to be poured out upon us, I mean any minute now!

To learn about the Republicans God is calling in our current times, I have to admit that I sought information from a source that apostles have warned us about: the Internet. To their inspired voices I add my own: do not trust anything on the Internet, especially if it says that the honorable Mr. Cruz or Mr. Trump is sexist, racist, Islamophic, homophobic, xenophobic, unkind to the handicapped, says bad words, is a bully or an idiot, encourages fear, hatred, anger, and/or violence, or is not an excellent businessman or is not a man of perfect chastity and moral virtue. Especially don’t believe anything that the Internet tells you Mr. Trump has said about Mr. Cruz or vice versa or anything that the Internet might tell you about what Mitt Romney has said about either one. Mitt would never say such things, because he knows that a house divided cannot prosper, and God will not let His earthly party falter.

If you have accidentally come across troubling information on the Internet, here are two answers that will get you through.

First, doubt your doubts. You know you can trust that all Republicans are from God and all Democrats are from Satan. If you have doubts, doubt your doubts until your dubious doubts prove their dubiousness, and, like the day dawn is breaking, you doubt no longer!

Second, read the Book of Mormon. That divine record will reassure you that God still only inspires Republicans. Republicans embrace the truth that God wants us to be self-sufficient and to not rely on the government, or, as it says in Alma, “…every man fared in this life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man prospered according to his genius, and that every man conquered according to his strength” (Alma 30:17). That quote and the whole book make it clear that we need to look out for ourselves, that beggars won’t learn to take care of themselves if we give them handouts (welfare, food stamps, healthcare, education, etc.) and that people who are being killed in their own country should not be allowed to just come here and settle.

If you are having a faith crisis from lies you have found on the Internet, hold fast to this message of absolute self-reliance and God’s inspired priorities as found in His earthy vessel, the Republican party, amen.