This Sister May Have Reassured Shelton |
DERRY, NH—Area woman Hannah Shelton, though a victim of
still painful childhood sexual abuse, is a fabulous mother and wife and doesn’t
even realize it.
“Oh, I work hard not to dwell on the past, you know, and I
just try to do what I can,” said Shelton. What Shelton does not realize is that
her heroic and faithful efforts to deal with that past have helped to make her
the loving, compassionate, and courageous woman that powerfully blesses the
lives of her 5 children as well as her husband.
Researchers over the past decade or so have seen more and
more overlap with victims of childhood sexual abuse and traumatized soldiers
returning from battle. Some of those common symptoms include long-term
consequences like a higher incidence of depression, intrusive flashback
memories, hypervigilance, maladaptive coping skills, dysfunctional social
skills, and an overactive stress response. One would think that such weighty
obstacles would destroy someone, but it some ways those very obstacles have
helped sister Shelton grow.
It is common for Shelton to express apprehension at how
often she feels “blue” or how she just struggles trying to do everything she thinks
she should do. But for someone with a much higher risk for depression,
Shelton tries to do what she can, and then accepts what she cannot do. As she
commented during a recent Relief Society lesson, “you know, sometimes I feel so
discouraged, and then I try to get quiet, you know, all over, and have faith
enough to hear my Heavenly Parents tell me how much They love me and how they
accept the offerings I can make, even if my efforts sometimes seem like the
‘widow’s mite’.”
Shelton also has to battle with intrusive flashback memories
and hypervigilance. This has affected her relationship with her husband Matt.
Said Hannah, “yah, it has been a very rocky road at times with Matt, and I
worry, deep down, that he might be better off without me.” Wiping away a tear,
Hannah continued, “we’ve had lots of talks and he has always been patient,
kind, and loving, especially when I have had the courage to confide in him.” Hannah
continued that, “we’ve had to develop some code words that let him know, um,
where I am and what I need. One night, for example, I really needed to be held,
you know, just held, and he was watching a football game that was a big deal to
him. Well, it took some time, but he could see that I needed him, so he turned
off the game and snuggled with me. For some reason, the code word I say in
similar situations is ‘Omaha, Omaha’.”
Hannah worries constantly that her fears will have a
negative impact on her children. In this, she has learned to trust Matt, and,
working together, they do their best to combine Matt’s easy-going nature,
seemingly eternal optimism, and confidence with Hannah’s eagle-eye for
potential dangers. Matt works hard to always be loyal and supportive of his
wife around the kids, especially the teenagers.
For his part, Matt has never regretted his marriage,
relationship, and friendship with Hannah. As Matt put it, “I only wish she
could see how amazing, how powerful, how faithful she is! I could never be that
strong, and I’m glad I get to do my small part to support her. And I don’t
think I’ll ever meet someone with a testimony as powerful as Hannah’s of the
power of Christ’s atonement.”
I know this is a satirical site, but I honestly don't get this. Anyone?
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