The unicorn has always seemed to Roberts like a more appropriate Democratic Party symbol |
Payson, UT—During a recent weekend wherein he spoiled many
of his grandchildren, otherwise very disciplined area grandfather and
Republican Donald Roberts reported that letting the kids “pretty much do
whatever they wanted without regard for the short or long-term consequences” gave
him a chance to “feel like a Democrat.”
Roberts started by giving each of them twenty dollars. Whenever
a child asked for more money, Roberts gave them more, disregarding how it was
spent, the merit of the petition, or how it might affect the child. Though the
grandchildren clearly didn’t care, Roberts’ children asked him where the money
was coming from. Roberts replied, “I just give them whatever they want and don’t
worry where it will come from or how the debts will be paid.” Added Roberts, “I feel like the Greek government or the state of California.”
Not everything about the weekend visit went as smoothly as
planned. One grandchild scraped her knee jumping rope. Roberts assembled all of
the grandkids, gave the wounded child a Band-Aid, and then took forty-five
dollars from all of the grandkids to cover the cost of anyone’s future Band-Aids.
Some children objected, saying that they had Band-Aids already, but Roberts
made the Band-Aid insurance obligatory for all of the grandchildren. When Roberts’
children asked why all of the children had to pay so much, Roberts responded
that “it was in everyone’s best interest to participate in the Affordable
Bandaid Program or, as I call it, ‘Ogrampacare’.”
Toward the end of the stay, some of the children were not
getting along. They approached their grandfather, asking him to use his wisdom to
make a final decision. Roberts saw that some of the kids had worked out a
temporary solution, one that was still unsatisfactory to a majority of the
grandkids, but Roberts did nothing, allowing the previous decisions to stand.
Said Roberts, “sure, they might have wanted my authoritative decision, and one
that might address majority concerns, but it was fun to take an ‘I’m not going
to do anything and let a hodge-podge of lower judges decide it all’ approach.”
Concluded Roberts, “it was absolutely exhilarating to be both completely
unresponsive and yet decisive!”
As the grandchildren left his home, some heard Roberts say, “let’s
do this again soon; when you come next it will be really crazy—I’ll call it ‘Hilary
2016!’”
Very insightful for a Liberal. :>》
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