As magazines like the Ensign
have in storage 50,000 Family Home Evening ideas and Cosmopolitan has in storage 50,000 tips to make your man go wild in
bed, the Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer has
a storage of 50,000 Christmas gift ideas. We are more frugal with our tips, so here is this year’s one idea: the
Aaronic Priesthood Wrist Coach. As you
may have noticed, football quarterbacks have a special wristband with the team’s
plays on it. The Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer shows you how to make the best Christmas
gift that special Aaronic Priesthood holder in your life will ever get.
You’re welcome, Zion.
Step 1: Go to a large store.
(The Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer does
not get any special funding from large stores that use predatory practices to
destroy small businesses and local culture, so the sign here has been
blurred. But if a large store that uses predatory
practices to destroy small businesses and local culture would like to sponsor
or support Zion’s Finest News Source, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact us!)
Step 2: Purchase a Football Wrist Coach, and item that can
be found in the sporting goods section.
Step 3: Make up a card with the Sacrament prayers on it to
the size of the insert. (Bonus points if
you can make it from memory without having to look up the prayers.)
Step 4: Insert the card into the wristband.
Now your Aaronic Priesthood holder is ready, with his
Aaronic Priesthood Wrist Coach, to bless the sacrament.
Bonus: Other important Aaronic (and Melchizedek!) Priesthood
messages can also be conveyed with the Wrist Coach.
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