Monday, July 8, 2013


The Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer, Zion’s Finest News Source, is glad to give you, our dear readers, the in-depth and groundbreaking interviews that answer the real questions.  We are pleased to post this interview which we recently conducted with Tom Mould, author of Still, the Small Voice: Narrative, Personal Revelation, and The Mormon Folk Tradition. Though other, frankly lesser publications, may attempt similar interviews (and don’t think that we don’t see you, Dialogue!), only the Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer is willing to really poke current people with the long pointy stick of Zion’s finest questions.  As with all MTE interviews, this was conducted at an undisclosed location and without the victim's interviewee’s knowledge or consent. Cus that’s how we roll. 

MTE: If you had to guess, what secret sins do you think kept Romney from becoming president?
Tom Mould: I don’t really know what you mean by this question.  I’m not sure if it was secret sins…
MTE: Give us your reasons why Harry Reid might secretly be a Muslim?
Tom Mould: Wait, what? I don’t think Harry Reid is a Muslim.
MTE: Do you think that it is just a coincidence that after the Book of Mormon came forth, people starting using “moron” as an insult?
Tom Mould: Um, I really doubt that there is a connection, and please stop following me around this grocery store.
MTE: You study Mormonism, so of course you watched General Conference.  So, podium question: who wore the suit best: Andersen or Nielson?
Tom Mould: You know I’m an anthropologist, right? 
MTE: One more General Conference question: whose tie would you predict will be the real trend-setter as summer starts to heat up?
Tom Mould: Do I even know you?
MTE: Okay, so now let’s talk about your book: There are rumors that the movie rights are being shopped around Hollywood and Vernal.  If you could pick the actor that you want to play the lead, who would it be?
Tom Mould: Did you even read my book? 
MTE: One thing our readers noticed was how skillfully you handled the hot and steamy sex scenes by not including any.  Is this because you are saving them for your next book, or is it because you don’t feel that you are a good enough writer to incorporate vampires?
Tom Mould: Did you even look at the cover?
MTE: Do you feel like the last name Mould has ever held you back?  How about Tom?
Tom Mould: I didn’t until now. Wait, you’re not recording this, are you?

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