COPY OF “PREACH MY GOSPEL” CAN’T BELIEVE HOW LITTLE SISTER MISSIONARY KNOWS

Copy of Preach My Gospel 

PROVO, UT—Okay, so I know that missionaries are young and may not have been paying attention in seminary or church, but, as a copy of Preach My Gospel, I cannot believe how little Sister Katherine Lawrence knows about missionary work and the church in general.

Sister Lawrence got me when she first day she came to the MTC, but right off I could see that she didn’t know very much. Page vii is my introduction. The first note she wrote was “where can I get a copy of Preach My Gospel?” She crossed that out once her companion explained that the picture on the page was the cover of the book she was reading.

It didn’t get any better on the next page. This page features a diagram with a family at the center. On a page that explains the role of personal study and learning, Sister Lawrence’s only study note is “that boy is kinda cute.” Page 2 features an artist’s rendition of Lehi’s dream with a brilliant depiction of the Tree of Life. Sister Lawrence makes this note about it: “I bet this is where Christmas trees come from.” On page 6 she wrote, “ask companion what Restoration means,” and on page 12 she wrote, “ask her who all of these presidents are.”

I have a great section explaining studying and preparing to teach lessons that goes from pages 19 to 21, and Sister Lawrence’s only comment is: “I’m sure my companion will know how to do all this and when the time is right I will just give my heartfelt testimony!” In fact, in several places her only comment is “or just give a heartfelt testimony.” She seems to think that a heartfelt testimony is a magic wand that she can just wave over any situation and whatever she wants to happen will happen.

In other sections, well, it is pretty appalling. On page 46, which gives a list of other key religious figures who were inspired by God, next to Mohammed Sister Lawrence wrote: “caused 9/11,” next to Confucius she wrote: “name says it all,” and next to Buddha she wrote: “Fat.” The entire section on Finding People has only two study notes. One says, “the pure in heart will find me,” and the second says “most wards have some wierdos who give the missionaries people to teach.”

Heaven help both of us.

Note: This report is an homage to an article published in The Onion dealing with: “Copy Of “The Scarlet Letter” Can't Believe The Notes High Schooler Writing In Margins”