You Don't Want to See This! |
One: Laurels can be bad at keeping secrets. This may
surprise you, since girls can seem pretty quiet around boys. It is hard to know
even what they are thinking. But take it from some people I know: as soon as you meet one for a midnight movie while
your companion is sleeping, she will probably blab all about it to her
friends. And when that happens, others
will probably find out. It will be really bad if it gets around, so the easiest
thing to do is to tell her in a really spiritual way to only use a code name
for you when talking to her friends.
Two: She may not be as cute as you think. This is a mistake
lots of missionaries make. You are in South Africa or Guatemala or the Dakotas
and you find a really hot seventeen year-old sitting across from you at dinner.
She laughs at all your jokes, she shakes your hand vigorously, and her eyes just light up when you talk about serving the Lord. But keep in mind that the
sparkly feelings you get when you are around her could just be because you haven’t been around girls for
a while. Try to remember the hot girls who never would have talked to you
before: is this one really one of those? After being a missionary for a while,
even the light poles have hips, so make sure she really is cute.
Three: She might just be into you for the tag. While you are
being a missionary, you don’t want to get burned. And the most common way that missionaries
who date Laurels get burned is when they realize that she is only into you
because of the tag. As we know from hundreds of years of stories and even
scientific experiments, girls love men in uniform. Your suit and your tag are
your uniform, and too many girls with stars in their eyes only see that. You should
respect yourself and find a girl who wants to date you for you, not just
because you have dedicated two years to serving God.
I don’t want to be extreme here, soon-to-be missionary, but when
you are considering a deep, loving, and profound relationship (or even something not quite that deep or profound) with a seventeen
or eighteen year-old girl in the ward where you are serving, keep these three
reasons as a word to the wise.
The Best of Luck,
Elder Kory Anton
wow! This post is very informative and I have learn about missionaries a lot .
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post.
family care foundation (fcf)
Tinita, I must say your comment is somewhat disturbing; there is pretty much nothing you can learn about missionaries FROM this spoof article. It is just meant as a joke about disobedient missionaries.
ReplyDelete