INHERENTLY SPIRITUALLY SUPERIOR AREA WOMAN SOMEHOW STILL A BAD COOK

Macaroni and Cheese that, despite Spiritual Superiority,
Area Woman Just Cannot Seem to Make 

Mesa, AZ—Area woman Elizabeth Watts, in spite of being, as a woman, inherently spiritually superior to men, including her husband, is still, somehow, a bad cook.

“Just the other day, I heard from the podium again,” said Watts, “the women are inherently closer to God and more spiritual than men, but somehow I still can’t get homemade macaroni and cheese right!” After noting this flaw, Watt’s exclaimed, “honestly, what is wrong with me?!”

Sister Watts’ husband, Clay, who is a member of the local stake’s High Council, regularly comments in his talks on his wife’s inherent spiritual superiority. In a recent address to a visiting ward, Brother Watts laughing noted that he has spent his life riding his “wife’s coattails, or maybe I should say skirttails!” (Note: apparently he either believes that skirts have tails or he thought that riding his wife’s skirt sounded both weird and vaguely creepy. It should also be noted that some in the congregation laughed merely at the awkwardness of his wording.)

Sister Watts has often felt uneasy with her inherent spiritual superiority. While it does help her understand why she does not need the priesthood, she still finds it difficult to meet all of the demands that she feels her church membership places on women. “The added emphasis on how I’m inherently spiritually superior, well, I’m not sure it helps all of the time,” explained Watts.

The Watts’ teenage daughter Caiden has also started to feel both the pressure and her own inadequacy in the face of inherent spiritual superiority. “I know that I’m just more spiritual than the young men around me,” pointed out Caiden, “but, if you promise not to tell my parents, I have to admit that it seems like sometimes I want to have sex just as badly as the boys do!” The young Sister Watts then clarified, using an automotive metaphor, that “sometimes it is hard being more spiritual, since that means I always have to be the brakes while boys are just the gas!”