Gradualism, from Latin gradus (“step”), is the belief in or the policy of change by gradual, often slow stages.
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Monday, September 29, 2014
GRADUALISTS UNITE! (Ok, Slower than Some Might Hope)
Gradualism, from Latin gradus (“step”), is the belief in or the policy of change by gradual, often slow stages.
Monday, September 22, 2014
“SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR EXACT OBEDIENCE” SAY BYU-I STUDENTS WHO CUT OFF FEET, BOTTOM 4-8 INCHES OF THEIR IMMODEST LEGS
This print of a Spanish auto-da-fe illustrates what happened in Rexburg, except the Spaniards are dressed less modestly. |
Rexburg, ID—Over the weekend several BYU-Idaho students,
stung with divinely inspired shame conveyed by President Clark’s widely published Facebook post, responded with characteristic faith to his call for strict
obedience by cutting off their feet and the bottom 4-8 inches of
their immodestly displayed legs. “As a sacrifice, it was a small price to pay”
said BYU-Idaho sophomore Stephanie King of Sandpoint Idaho. Said King, “I mean, if the right and the left foot offend
you by your pants being too high while President Clark is looking, then I will
go and do what strict obedience demands of me!”
Bloody stumps at the end of the legs of students like King were
not the only clear signs of faith on the part of the devoted BYU-I students.
Junior Daniel Green of Colorado Springs, Colorado had his face almost completely
bandaged. When asked about the bandages, Green explained that “I’m sure it was
me that President Clark saw, and the stubble that had already grown back in the
hour since I had shaved is something that I now know was driving the Spirit
from our entire campus!” Green elaborated
that “when I felt what can only be described as the burning in the bosom of
fiery, celestial guilt, I want home and shaved and shaved in the hope that I
could destroy those iniquitous hair follicles for good.” Green concluded by
tearfully explaining the joy and relief that washed over him “once my razor
made it far enough that it nicked my jaw bone.”
The only ones not enthusiastically caught up in the public celebration of exact obedience were a small group of “liberal” students and faculty. That group was seen mocking and pointing fingers at the students. They were also overheard expressing their unwavering conviction that if President Clark didn’t do what they thought he should do then he must be a power-hungry, Pharisaical misogynist who perpetuates rape culture and an empty shell of religiosity instead of the true faith Joseph tried to restore. That small group of “faithful” and “rational” people then formed a circle, patted each other on the back, and chanted in unison their four word article of faith: respect, diversity, and tolerance.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
MINI MISSIONARY LESSON: USING GUILT AND MANIPULATION TO BAPTIZE MORE PEOPLE
With the lowering of the mission age, the Mormon
Tabernacle Enquirer is doing its part to help train young men for the rigors
and blessings of doing God’s work. As part of this effort, Elder Kory Anton,
who is hoping to clear things up and return to the mission field very soon,
offers his insights to help others prepare.
God wants you to use all means possible to get people to enter the yoke |
As a missionary, your sole purpose is to baptize. Talk
all you want about getting close to God or growing spiritually or becoming a
better person—those are really just things that loser missionaries say who didn’t
baptize as many people as they should have. Missionaries might make up lame
excuses, like “we served and loved many people” or “I hope this or that family
eventually feels like baptism will bless their lives” or “I honor and respect
the lives and agency of those I met,” but all of that is cover for their
failure to baptize thousands like early missionaries or anyone in South
America. We know that the Lord is bound when we do what He says, and what I’m
about to say is bound to give you the highest number when people back in your
ward ask how many you baptized.
The key to getting people baptized is using guilt and
manipulation. Others may not really say it like that, but trust me, you
probably have already had some youth leader (or parents!) who used plenty of
both, probably to get you on a mission. Guilt and manipulation can be the very
key to heaven; they are truly a bright, shining, morning star!
If you are unfamiliar with how to use guilt and
manipulation to baptize more people, let me explain. The key is to use someone’s
beliefs or relationships against them. Say, for example, you are working with
someone who says they believe in the Bible. Your goal is to force them to see
how if they believe in the Bible then they must believe everything you are
teaching and get baptized. Read some scripture like Amos 3:7 about prophets,
and then say that if they believe the Bible then they must believe that there
are always prophets all of the time and since you have a church with a prophet,
you must be right and, since they believe in the Bible, they have to get
baptized. Or read the scripture in John about other sheep not of this fold and
prove that that means that the Book of Mormon is true and that if they believe
the Bible then they must believe in the Book of Mormon and be baptized. As you
can see, your study time should be spent finding scriptures you can use to
force people to see that if they believe the Bible then they must believe you
and be baptized. It is as easy as that!
Some people are either not yet convinced or they don’t
believe all that much in the Bible. Fair enough. Then you ask them if they love
their children or parents. If they say yes, then you say that if they really
love them then they will join the church that helps them be together forever
and that they must get baptized. If they dodge this, then show something like “I’ll
Build You a Rainbow” or something else that makes a powerful emotional appeal, and
show them that if they really love those people, they will get baptized.
Some missionaries lose sight of this. Instead of being
bold, denouncing sin with the power of the sword of truth, they talk about
creating a mutually respectful environment where they are as open as they would
want the investigator to be. Those missionaries have lost sight of the fact
that they are the only ones with the truth and that you have been commanded to
baptize. Missionaries who have lost the true vision of missionary work love and
weep for people who decide to no longer hear their message. True missionaries
keep going back, keep using powerful emotional pressure, and keep making
arguments that are tighter and tighter until every investigator enters the yoke
of the Lord. It may be hard work keeping investigators anxious and feeling the
heavy load of guilt and manipulation, but trust me, if you want get rid of ambiguity and doubts and if you want to tell your mission president, parents, ward members back home, and
friends that you had lots and lots of baptisms, there is no other way!
The Best of Luck,
Elder Kory Anton
PS: This article is probably from Satan--Avoid!
Monday, September 1, 2014
LDS ARCHAEOLOGISTS: ANCIENT COVENANT PEOPLE PERFORMED VICARIOUS CIRCUMCISIONS
PROVO, UT—Scholars from BYU’s Department of Archeology have
confirmed that ancient covenant people performed vicarious circumcisions as
part of their temple worship. Dr. Albert Fenn recently provided compelling
evidence that “images and fragments of text reveal that ancient peoples
in the Americas and Middle East circumcised adolescent priesthood holders on behalf
of dead ancestors who had not had that essential ritual performed themselves.” Though Fenn spoke at length about the ancient
Abrahamic foundation for such a practice, a undergraduate assistant who asked
to not be named commented that “where today doing baptism for the dead can be
sort of ‘mixer’ for young women and men, let’s just say that none of
the ancient young men were swinging by Wendy’s or Café Rio for some socializing
after getting whatever foreskin they had left snipped off for their ancestors!”
The same unnamed student concluded, “you think betting baptized 15 times is a
pain…”