MEXICAN CHILDREN USE ELABORATE TUNNEL TO ESCAPE NURSERY

Similar though far inferior tunnel recently found in Mexico

Guadalajara, Mexico—In a complex scheme involving hours of digging, reduced nap time, and perhaps dozens of Sunbeams, 4 children used an elaborate tunnel to escaped from the Guadalajara, El Rincón ward’s nursery.

“One minute I was working with the kids, I turned to see why one child was crying, and when I looked back they had vanished,” said Sister Eugenia González Molina, one of two women assigned to work in the nursery. “Lucky for us the Bishop installed a surveillance system just a few weeks ago, so we saw on the tape how they opened a trapped door under the snack table and slipped out.”

Ward and stake investigators have been called in to assess the situation. What they found was a sophisticated tunnel dug directly under the church building. Reported one stake leader who would not give his name, “when we sent our Valients to investigate the tunnel, they reported that it was equipped with lighting, air conditioning, and juice boxes.”

The escape plan seems to have targeted one particular child, a notorious boy who has been a ringleader in acquiring extra fruit snacks for some of the kids. Ward leaders had been keeping an eye on this boy, known as “El Chupito,” after finding stains on the carpet from where he had smuggled drinks with red dye in them into the church.

“We are worried that these kids are still on the loose,” reported one official, “but what really concerns us is how many Primary board members must have looked the other way or been too intimidated to say anything as this plot to free El Chupito was developing.” After some speculation about who might be involved, the same official added that “one wonders how high up the corruption goes!”