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Monday, January 26, 2015

TRIPLE, VENTI, HALF SWEET, NON-FAT, CARAMEL MACCHIATO CAUSES PRODIGAL LDS STARBUCKS BARISTA TO “COME TO HIMSELF,” RETURN TO FAITH

God can even use the absurdity 
of an iced, half caff, ristretto, venti, 
4-pump, sugar free, cinnamon, dolce 
soy skinny latte to bring a lost sheep 
back to the fold
Salt Lake City, UT—Kody Hollis’ recent return to the faith of his youth was apparently triggered by a customer request made while Kody was working as a barista at a Salt Lake City Starbucks.

“Yah, so this guy comes in,” recounted Kody, “and orders a triple, venti, half sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato and it suddenly struck me; what the @#^& am I doing here.” Kody continued that “the absurdity of making this ridiculous drink for some pretentious University of Utah hipster and then making similar drinks for the line of equally pretentious hipsters behind him just made me snap out of whatever fog I’d been in.”

Kody’s experience of suddenly “coming to himself” was followed by other experiences that eventually led the twenty-five year-old to return to his parents and the church he was raised in.

“So I went back to my apartment, you know, after my shift, and looked in the mirror, saw the piercings and those ludicrous gauges, and decided that I really need to make a change.” Kody was going to discuss his decision with his roommates, but Brian was in the shower with his girlfriend Candice and Kameron was passed out with a bong beside him on their dilapidated, red, Deseret Industries sectional couch. 

Kody’s decision was not an easy one, and he nearly faltered on the drive back to his parents’ home in Wellsville, Utah. “I got off the freeway,” explained Kody, “and dropped into a Starbucks along the way, in Ogden I think, you know, to pick up something and to think about this [decision] before just going back to Cache Valley.” Kody concluded that “well, so this girl with a weed tattoo on her neck was in front of me in line, and she ordered a grande chai tea latte, 3 pump, skim milk, lite water, no foam, extra hot and I was like ‘I gotta get away from this $%^*!’”

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