HENDERSON NEVADA WARD PILOTS NEW “BODY OF THE CHURCH” SACRAMENT SEATING

Two of the original Sacrament Options
Depending upon what part of the body you were

HENDERSON, NV—The Henderson 3^rd ward is piloting a new church sacrament seating program called the “Body of the Church.” This program arranges congregation members according to different categories, thus making each person’s place in the “body of the Church,” or, as Paul said, in the “body of Christ” clear.

According to the seating arrangement, the “head and eyes” are the Bishop and his counselors on the stand. The central pews are for the “heart and lungs,” consisting of families with members holding important callings and/or husbands who have “home taught at least once since 2000.” In addition to these parts, the “arms” are the deacons arranged on each side and ready to pass the sacrament, while the legs are families with infants on the sides to the back who are “ready to run out with screaming children.”

The program also reserves open seats throughout the congregation for visitors and less actives. “These seats are left open,” said Bishop Phillips, “and we call them various names like “pancreas” or “knee cap” or “hair follicles.” Phillips added that “those places are important, don’t get me wrong, it is just that we don’t know who will take them.” 

The arrangement also facilitates sacrament passing.“According to the original plan,” explained Bishop Phillips, “different ‘body parts’ would have different sacrament items, but it turned out that having trays with stale, freezer-burnt bread and trays with Cinnabon rolls was too cumbersome.” The only element retained from this part of the pilot involves gluten-free bread. “Oh, yah, we still have a special gluten-free section with, of course, separate bread—that section is out in the parking lot, since no one wants to get stuck with that dreadful stuff” said Phillips.

As a final note, Phillips said that the center back section is the “body’s less comely but still necessary excretory system,” adding that that “is perfect for readers of the Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer.”