THE FRIEND TO COVER RECENT SUPREME COURT RULING

SALT LAKE CITY, UT—According to reports, The Friend’s August 2013 issue will feature an article addressing the recent Supreme Court Ruling on DOMA or the Defense of Marriage Act.

The article, titled “We Are All Friends,” will explain the implications of the ruling for Primary-aged LDS children who may feel confused. Sources indicate that the cover picture will show “very concerned grandparents reading the newspaper or watching television,” while children in the foreground “smile, play, and hold hands, seemingly unaware of same-sex hand-holding taboos.”

Only a few unconfirmed details about the article's text have emerged. Reports indicate that the article will discuss the work of the Supreme Court saying that “some nice people who wear funny black shower curtains to work have been thinking about families.” It goes on to elaborate that “now, even if you have two daddies or two mommies, you are just as much their child and just as much a family.” 

Further reports indicate that children will be told that “having a mommy and a daddy is still just as nice, and now we can all feel like we belong.” To clarify other aspects of the ruling, including how divorced same-sex partners can now have custody rights, the article will explain that “kids with a different kind of parents will now, no matter what, get all of the blessings of having those people in their lives.”   

One illustration is said to show “a range of happy children playing together, obviously enjoying the spiritual, emotional, and financial benefits of marriage equality.”