“GREAT AND SPACIOUS BLOGGING” SITE ALLOWS LDS LIBERALS, CONSERVATIVES CHANCE TO MOCK, POINT FINGERS AT “MOST MORMONS”

SILICON VALLEY, CA—“Great and Spacious Blogging” is the name of a new blog that allows extreme LDS radicals and conservatives to mock and point fingers at what they consistently call “most Mormons.” Permanent bloggers include disgruntled former BYU professors, University of Utah faculty, and East Coast liberals as well as Idaho survivalists, Anti-Anti Nephi-Lehis (who oppose immigration), and small right-wing paramilitary groups like One Mighty and Strong and the National Righteousness Association.

While the blog features writers with diametrically opposed views, they share a common disdain for “those cow-like, dim-witted, and über-complacent Sunday pew sitters who think that having faith, keeping the commandments, and doing your best is enough.” 

The blog includes a series called “Why all is Not Well in Zion.” This series recently featured posts about how smart, righteous women must wear pants to church as well as how faithful, righteous saints must shun the evils of pants. Both posts made it clear that one’s intelligence and righteousness were contingent upon these actions. Additional posts chided saints for not being able to “Help your Child find that special Gay Life-Partner” or for not “Helping Your Gay Children Experience Sufficient Shame.” 

The blog also features a number of counters. Liberal counters include “How Many Times Boys Commit the Sin of Calling Modest Girls Pure and Attractive,” “Estimated Days Until the Saints are Righteous Enough for God to Give Women the Priesthood and Allow Gays to Marry in the Temple,” and “The Number Of Reasons Why A Critical Faith Is Essential For Salvation.” Counters for conservatives include “Number of Times Something in the World Offends My Spirit,” “Estimated Days until the Saints Are Righteous Enough for God to Restore Mandatory Polygamy,” and “The Number Of Reasons Why Faith In The Second Amendment Is Essential For Salvation.”

One blogger, known as “Ordain Pets Now!” said that, “when someone doesn’t see things correctly, I naturally explain to that poor soul that they have a confirmation bias.” Another blogger, “McConkie’s 700 Deadly Heresies” also noted that “those who should also be ashamed of not seeing things correctly are the willfully blind caught in the mists of darkness deeper than Salt Lake City fog.” Most bloggers say that those who are too cowardly to think like them are too afraid of new ideas or “cognitive dissonance.” Such “weaklings should experience shame that gets them to see things my way.”  

Permanent Bloggers known as “Heavenly Mother Loves Judith Butler” and “It Should be Called Evilution” have both created manifestos that conclude in the same way: “We will not rest until every seemingly content saint, drunk on the fruit that is a failure to understand what is really important, is anxiously engaged in the correct cause—mine!” None of the “most Mormons” could be reached for comment, as they were putting kids to bed, trying to fit in some scripture study time, or having a real life instead of reading blogs.