Snapshot: The Church would be even truer if...

 . . . if pets could be sealed to you, too.

We had more hymns by Brandon Flowers and Gladys Knight.

We could count MLM pitches as home teaching.

Pews had cup holders.

We had magic underwear that looks like it.

Pets could be sealed to you, too.

Scouts and Young Women took their own damn selves camping.

There was Family Night and Multiply and Replenish night.

People without middle initials could hold important callings.

Sister Sanderson was put in restraints every fast and testimony meeting.

A garment exemption was offered until our wives got beyond "the hot years."

Diet Coke vending machines were installed in the foyers.

General Conference became General Conference Gospel-tastic Flamin' Divine Power Hour-a-Go-Go, produced and directed by David Bowie